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"... he's no longer 'despising' himself for eating a chicken nugget."

Posted on 2010.01.26 at 00:42
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Everything by Michael Buble
Title: 5 ways Kole has changed since The Divorce
Characters: Kole with way too many mentions of Gabe. Woah.
Rating: PG? Keeping it clean.
Sidenote: Ignore my terrible layout, I'm fixing it tomorrow. Also ignore the terrible writing style, i had some ideas I wanted to get out.

"...sleeping in Gabe's spot for four years now."Collapse )

5. He can honestly say that he hates himself.

After years of joking light-heartedly with friends, he finds it's no longer a joke, likely because he's no longer "despising" himself for eating a chicken nugget. He's sure he'd break his current streak of 9 years (he went to McDonald's the day the divorce papers came) just to not be imagining the look he sees in Gabe's eyes when their hands touch.

4. He fosters a bizarre relationship with, really, anything on his head.

Krys and Aiden see it in his hair, which he either grows out (usually for a while after he sees that look) or chops off completely (most noticeably with the reintroduction of Josh into his life). He's pretty sure only Aiden has any idea that there's a connection, though, and he's also sure Aiden gets that that one detail of his life might be too personal to tell Mom. On the other end of the spectrum are his hats, all but one of which have been donated. The sole hat he owns is a beanie, but it's one Gabe isn't allowed to ever know he owns, as he bought it for the sole purpose of going to Gabe's shows without the possibility of his ex ever noticing him or his red hair.

3. He sleeps with his teddy bear.

He discovered it one day when he had too much time while Aiden and Krys were with Gabe. He decided to attempt to clean and instead ended up sitting in the basement for hours, leafing through boxes of their possessions that they'd never unpacked when he came across of the teddy bear that got them back together their senior year. After clutching it to his chest for an hour or so, he moved it to its permanent home on his bed; sleeping in Gabe's spot for four years now.

2. He can't sleep without his legs bent, almost curled into his chest.

It's not anything so dramatic as sleeping in fetal position, and he doesn't hug his knees and rock himself to sleep, but he can't lay down anymore. On the off chance that he lets his legs lay straight, his biggest problem is that he can feel that he's alone. And it's not like he lays there pretending Gabe is still sleeping next to him or even spends that much time dwelling on the subject anymore, it's just that he can't deal with the reminder. When you've spent almost a decade sleeping in someone's arms with tangled legs, you try to stay away from reminding yourself that all you're tangled with is your flannel sheets.

1. He's stopped trying to pretend there's another reason for these changes.

At any other point in his life, he wouldn't have even noticed things like this, but he does now because every single one is a conscious decision that he makes every time. And eventually he stopped lying to himself. He knows he wouldn't be like this if Gabe was still with him and he knows its no one's fault but his own. And he can't for the life of him imagine how he could have ruined his life more effectively.

Inanimate Object Scene: Barbie vs. Raggedy Ann

Posted on 2009.03.08 at 01:40
Current Mood: meh
Current Music: silence!
Tags: ,

Think Toy Story meets Jerry Springer. I actually really like this one... 

Raggedy WHORE!Collapse )

Posted on 2009.03.08 at 01:22
Current Mood: meh
Current Music: silence!
Tags: ,
So... We got to write a monologue with complete freedom. And I started thinking about how, whenever there's a death, the only people focused on are the ones that were friends with the deceased or those who hated them. You never see how the outsider feels. So, here's my take on an outsider's approach to death.

            No one ever said Sam's name again.Collapse )

To Spite Laura. Yeah.

Posted on 2009.01.15 at 22:31
Current Location: Home!
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: Daily Show?
Tags: , , , , , ,
So... I haven't talked to you all in forever. And that makes me very sad.

Also, Laura said I wasn't worthy of an Lj stalking/analyzing so... Proving her wrong. Yeah.

Anyway, here's my fun update on my life post! Here goes

First, I'm in two shows right now! Grease and Ruth. In Grease I play Miss Lynch's assistant, the crazy one from the movie who has a xylophone? Yeah. Also, I get to play a piano badly. Um, awesome role. Even though I do absolutely nothing right now. But that runs April 2nd, 3rd and 4th.

Ruth is a play based on the Book of Ruth in the Old Testament, apparently one of the few remaining biblical stories blatantly about a gay couple. So that script is slowly being put together. But I play Ruth in it and that premieres in February on Valentine's Day, and we'll apparently be doing loads of performances elsewhere. So... YAY!

Um, other things- I went to New York last weekend and it was AMAZING. Had ridiculously good food, watched SNL from an NYC hotel room and saw Shrek and Speed the Plow. And stagedoored both. We had to wait longer at Speed the Plow than we did for Shrek, though, because it was Norbert Leo Butz's last day and they were having some kind of party. Which apparently heavily involved Rockband. Raul Esparza said he scored a 98% on expert in Roxanne, so he was pretty proud of himself. But according to my best friend, that's easy. Then again, it's Mike and video games are his life and love.

Oh, who wants to hear a funny story! So, my friend gets bored one day, hops in the car and drives over to his girlfriend's house. Problem is, he's 16. And only has a permit. And he's not allowed to drive the truck he was driving. So on his way home, guess who's behind him? His dad. Yep. *shakes head* Stupid boy. So, he's on house arrest, as said by his friend who I have so aptly stolen the term from. But we're breaching it to see Milk tomorrow. So yay again!

Um... Even more other stuff. My life is going crazy busy as of late, what with 2 shows, faking a social life and the fact that finals are next week. Which is not okay. Although I did get 100% on my huge food project. And that really brought up my History grade. So now my lowest grade is in Bio and it's an 85, and I'm fine with that, even if my parents aren't. But that's okay!

And my last bit is about Christmas presents! If you want one, do leave me a comment here! I probably already have your address but I just want to make sure I'm not sending presents out to anyone who doesn't want me sending packages to them. They're all in various states of disarray, but you'll get them in February, I promise! One my life has calmed down a bit more. YAY!

And that's it. So, yeah. Suck it Laura.



This week has been a very good Luke and Noah week for me.

So. LJ is like... My place of characters?

Posted on 2008.11.05 at 22:53
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: I Wanna Be A Producer from The Producers (only in my head, of course)
Tags: , , ,
I miss my characters. Cuz I have about... One or two in use now? Not okay.

Um... I'm just gonna write the names of some of my favorite characters who I haven't played with in months. Or years.

And if you miss them too... Play with me? Please? *hopeful smile*

Forgotten Souls:

Also, totally random but I have no idea who actually reads Lj. So... Kiwi? Do you remember those dorky HP characters? I miss them. And want them back...


Posted on 2008.11.02 at 23:47
Current Location: home!
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: Fiddler in my head, oddly enough.
Tags: , , , ,
My baby is being misled right now and I don't like it.

I always felt so bad for the boy... Two horribly failed relationships, the last so bad that he ships himself off to England.

But GOD. You don't convince your boyfriend that everything is okay and spend 6 blissful days of sex and happiness with him before disappearing from his life without a word. It's just not okay.

He is literally driven crazy by this.

I no longer like Taylor.


[tos] gang


Posted on 2008.08.22 at 14:53
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Current Music: As the World Turns?
Tags: ,
So... I just got cast in my first play. Ever. And I'm ridiculously excited enough about that.

And!!!!! The playwright/director is a woman from my church who emailed my parents to ask if I'd be available for this. SHE REQUESTED ME!!!

On top of that? You know the GSA dork that I am? It's a GLBT play. Yeah.

And guess what? It's based on a bible story.

And on top of that? I get to play a lesbian.

So excited. So ridiculously excited.

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

I love most of my life...

Posted on 2008.07.10 at 15:07
Behold... My Future
  I will marry Michael Arden.  
  After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Hawaii in our fabulous House.  
  We will have 5 kid(s) together.  
  Our family will zoom around in a Hot Pink Volkswagon Bug.
  I will spend my days as a Actor, and live happily ever after.  
whats your future

Llama llama DUCK!

Posted on 2008.07.06 at 22:46
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Dane Cook. Woot.
Tags: , ,
I have decided to attempt to actually use LJ to update when my life does something cool. Or fun. Which doesn't happen too much, so... FUN BLOG!

So. Today I went to a folk festival and bought a DUCK! I know, it was fun. Kind of stupid and who fucking impulse buys a duck? But I did. And it was $3. Yep.

His name was either gonna be Jasper or Edward. Or Pyg. But instead, I had to return it.

Ya see, when I asked my mom if I could buy said duck, she misunderstood and thought I meant a fake duck. Like a wooden duck or a stuffed animal duck. Although, then, I wouldn't buy it. Or, at least, I wouldn't be asking her if I could buy it. *sigh*

So Jasper/Edward/Pyg is now in his rightful home with my friend's duck. (She bought one too. Its name was gonna be Alice or Bella or Houdini. Cuz he kept escaping).

In short, I love ducks. Way too much. I had a five-year-old inspired day today.

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